I shudder every time I think about getting that early morning call in August of 2014. The one where my dad had to tell me that my younger brother, Jamie, had been killed. In the next few months, I felt like there was only a select group of people who could understand what I was going through. I’ve since learned that, one way or another, these people seem to find each other and can, at times, act as a helper and other times are the ones who need your support. We all journey through grief in our own ways but, often times, just knowing that you’re not alone is enough to get you through to the next day. This has become a new part of my relationship with my dad, my youngest brother, and others who I’ve met over the past year and a half.
My story started in the small town of Blair, Nebraska (25 miles north of Omaha and home to almost 7,000 Nebraskans), and I grew up between Omaha and Bensalem, Pennsylvania (a suburb of Philadelphia). I will claim either as my hometown (depending on who I’m talking to or whether it’s a Saturday or a Sunday in the fall). I graduated from the Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs, am married and have 3 ridiculously active boys, and our family has lived in a combined 9 different places in the last 18 years. We are currently assigned to Keesler Air Force Base in Biloxi, Mississippi where I serve as the commander of the 815th Airlift Squadron (a C-130J combat airlift unit).
I possess many skills that get me absolutely nowhere in life. Admittedly, my lip sync abilities would give Jimmy Fallon a run for his money and range from the Backstreet Boys to Guns N’ Roses to Genesis. All of which were, unfortunately, caught on tape. I can, and do, build a spreadsheet at the drop of a hat…to fix any problem, to make any decision, to create any plan for the future…and I love doing it. And I can quote just about every line from Adam Sandler’s 1994 (almost) Oscar winning performance in Billy Madison. Oh yeah, and I’m obsessed with hedgehogs…but don’t tell anyone.
In my free time I obsess over my triathlon training and my Nebraska Cornhuskers (much more about that in the book). I also spend as much time as I possibly can with my boys, doing everything from beating them at Mario Kart to holding WrestleMania style matches…usually until someone starts crying and/or we get in trouble with their mom.
While I should rarely be taken seriously, there isn’t anything funny about losing a loved one. But I continue to try to find some humor in the way I’ve reacted to this (sometimes) overwhelming grief. I hope that you will read the book and find solace in the fact that you are definitely not alone and it does get less awful.